Warning this post is not crafty or homemaker related. It is just how I am feeling, feel free to skip over it if breastfeeding or milk production makes you uncomfortable.

If there is one thing in life that I really don't understand it is.... Why on earth does breast milk need to come in like you are feeding ten starving children instead of just coming out to the amount the baby needs.
The first couple of days home from the hospital, I had to pull out my breast pump a couple of times. I astounded my mother in law as I pumped ounces upon ounces just to dump.
Another another occasion, after I had finished pumping my mother in law said that she could see a noticeable difference between my breast size pre-pumping and post-pumping.
Warning Super TMI (but I am sharing this so if someone else has this happen they won't be as freaked out as I was) This would be the most alarming part of my milk coming in this time. I had a sore bump show up on my right under arm, I thought it was an in grown hair from shaving so I squeezed it to see if I could pop it. And instead of puss I had a large amount of milk. At that point I realized it was a clogged milk duct. For the next few days I just tried to keep that side as empty as possible to try and give the milk duct the ability to empty out. We all joked about my third nipple until it finally went down in size. I am happy to report it is gone now.
Last night Ryder was having a hard time going to bed, he was crying and was really upset. I tried to ignore him and then I realized that his crying was making my milk supply go crazy. So I had to go into our bedroom so that I didn't hear the crying.

One of my friends had shared 2011 Lesson #2: Don't Carpe Diem, via Facebook. As I read the article I felt myself laughing and crying through out. The author captured truth when she said:

I think parenting young children (and old ones, I’ve heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they’ve heard there’s magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it’s hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that  most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.

And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers – “ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU’LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN’T!” TRUST US!! IT’LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!” - those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.

I know that a lot of times I have a hard time waking up early in the morning because Ryder had a bad dream or dealing with 30 minutes straight of tantrums, hanging on my leg and screaming while I am simply trying to make dinner. It is true it is often hard to enjoy the joys of parenting when you are in the middle of climbing (or barely crawling through the day).

She goes on to talk about how in life we have Chronos time and Kairos time. Chronos time is: 

...[R]egular time, it’s one minute at a time, it’s staring down the clock till bedtime time, it’s ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it’s four screaming minutes in time out time, it’s two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.

Kairos time is:

...God’s time. It’s time outside of time. It’s metaphysical time. It’s those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.

I decided since parenting is hard I want to be able to celebrate on this blog those moments of parenthood where I can say, "Carpe Kairos". This post is my first of many future Carpe Karios posts.

It seems as though with the near arrival of our little girl that Ryder and I have the opportunity to enjoy a lot Kairos time which I appreciate (and I think he has too). Friday I had a doctor's appointment in the afternoon, which I was nervous for all week but Ryder helped all those nerves just melt away with some sweet Kairos moments.

A Bear for the Baby
At 6:30 am (this is 1 to 1 1/2 earlier than he usually does) Ryder awoke and instead of his usual knock at the door accompanied by, "Momma"  he was instead crying in his bed. I ran to him and told him that I would lay with him but we couldn't get out of bed until it was light outside. So we laid there for several minutes I pretended to be asleep by closing my eyes to see if he would go back to sleep. Instead of going back to sleep he gave me sweet kisses and cuddled right up to me. After 15 minutes of this I decided that he wasn't going back to sleep but that this would be a good time to talk about what was going to happen when the baby comes.

I explained that Mom would be going to the hospital and the doctors would be cutting a zipper in Mom's belly and the baby would be pulled out. Then after the baby was all cleaned up, Aunt Al would bring Ryder up to the hospital to meet the baby. I told him that the baby and I would be staying up at the hospital for a few days but that Dad would be there at night to put him in his bed, I ask him if this was okay with him and he said, "Da." (his version of ya). I asked him if we should go to the store today so he could get the baby a gift and he said, "Do" (this is another yes if he thinks we should do something). I asked him what kind of present he was going to get for the baby, he looked at his bear (his very favorite stuffed animal and the one that he has been babying since we found out about the baby) and said, "Bear." I said so we should get a bear for the baby? And he said, "Da."

After Slim Jim's morning class we headed to our neighborhood Wally World to get a Bear for Baby. We trolled the isles of the toy and baby sections looking for the perfect bear. It looked like we were going to come up empty handed so we headed for the door. On our way, out of the corner of our eyes Slim Jim and I saw the Build-A-Bear-Workshop Kits. I asked Ryder if he liked the bear, he said, "Da." and grabbed it and put in the cart on our way to the checkstand all he said was, "Baby" and "Bear" with a great big smile on his face. He anxiously gave it to the checker and then excitedly got it back after Slim Jim purchased it.
When we returned home he decided that he was going to carry the bear up the stairs.

He pulled it apart so nicely for me.

Once it was all stuffed (excuse my craft table that is looking dangerously over stuffed, that is what happens when you get to many projects going during the holidays. Don't worry it is looking somewhat better now).

We excitedly opened the box and began building our bear. Oh he loved every minute of it. I was surprised and really pleased that the kit was easy enough to do that he could help some with every step. With the stuffing he pulled it from the bag and I placed it in the appropriate areas. The sewing I could let him push the needle (plastic object built like a needle but in no way sharp) when it was time. And then he helped me put the clothes on her.

Sewing up the bear

After we were all done I asked him if he should introduce his bear to her bear. He immediately popped up, ran to his room and grabbed his bear from his bed. He came back grabbed the baby's bear and had the two bears kiss. (Seriously, loved this moment. Because it was totally unscripted he just did it all on his own.) He even made the kiss sound when he did it. After the bears gave each other kisses he then gave me the bear and made the kiss noise. So I gave the bear kisses. Then he kissed it. Then the two bears went back to kisses and hugs.

The bears first meeting

After a minute of the kissing I ask him if we should put it back in the box so that we could wrap it. He agreed so we put the bear in the box it came in. I told him that we would wrap it in a little while. That wasn't good enough, so he went trolling for wrapping paper. He found a very small sheet of paper that was left over from Christmas, handed it to me and said, "Wrap." At that point I decided we needed to find something to wrap the baby's gift in, so I turned to my supply of Funny papers. With two funny papers and a lot of tape (Ryder wanted to help with the tape so I put on a little bit more than I usually would) we wrapped the box.

The completed project

I then ask him if he wanted to draw her a picture to put on the box. He said that he would. I told him maybe he should make a picture of a bear. He agreed he then told me that he was doing the head and the ears (it looked like his normal scribles but he preformed it much more slow and meticulous so it might have been). I wrote his name on the picture for him, then taped the note to the box.

I asked him if we should find a place to put the box so that it would stay nice for the baby. He said that we should and then picked up the box and ran it to their room where he then made several unsuccessful attempts to put the box in her crib (right now the crib is holding a number of items that we are keeping  nice for the baby). Finally he got it in the crib, he came running back into the living room to tell Slim Jim and I that he had completed the task (though we couldn't understand the words he was saying because he was beyond excited). Since that point every time we have a visitor he has to show them the box and tell them about how that is the baby's bear.

Even though I am beyond excited to hold her (and not be pregnant anymore) and Slim Jim is so ready to have his little girl, I can safely say I think Ryder is by far the most excited and least patient out of all of us.

Carpe Kairos for Ryder the Excited Big Brother that Built a Bear for the Baby!